Saturday, June 16, 2018

Berries, Bananas and Blogging

I feel like the tone in my blog lately has been such a deep...I dont know...blah I guess. Let's change that up

Yall know Im always bragging about how lucky I am in the friend department. I have the most awesome group of friends that are so awesome, they drop whatever's going on with them just to fly to my rescue. Case in point...
This lil ho right here

(said in so much love though LOL)


He has every right to be mad at me. I havent been the best of friends here lately. (thanks for being so understanding) Last night he calls and immediately realized that I was in a funk so he went into comedian mode. The end result was a marriage pact...
If we hit 50 and are still flying solo, we just gonna throw in the towel and get married. 
Ride out together
In other words, meet my future husband, yall! 
LOL
That was pretty funny.
He's "fo real doe"
LMFAO
Im still laughing 
I say, shiii I ain't even lookin.
I'm already in love and I wasn't (believe me) looking for that at all. Furthest thing from my mind, fo sho! But here we are. And if that don't work, then I am 100% cool with being alone. 
But I admit, I told him I would. lol 
Gotta get to 50 first 

After I got off the phone, I went back to reading and writing...which always feels so good, but this one decided it was mama time...

you cant hear but i'm listening to something in my beats
no he's not crazy...those noise are made because he knows it makes me laugh 
(I'll throw him off the side of my chair if he keeps it up though cus it starts gettin a little weird)
and then ending my night with this little cutie...

Today is a new day 
The sun still shines on my face

Ohh Ohh I almost forgot to show y'all!!
I got my first tattoo

and I'm going Monday to get the big one. 
(as long as I can go to the pool...bout to be boot camp up in here)
I cant freakin wait!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! 
sorry for posting so late...
weekend post coming and
yes! I'm doing confessions.

my vibe right now...
love me some 80's

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Breathe

Tonight is a 'chill, girl' kind of night.


Gonna just keep some low music on and read...
which is gonna lead to writing...
I kind of need that part to come on lol 


So have a good night and umm
y'all cant say I didn't follow through lol
It's still Thursday.

lol good timing on this one...

Things I Love Thursday....

Today I am in love with poetry....
Good poetry....
from back when connections were of most importance. 

"to that noble spirit who loves with the breeze and walks with the tempests"
(btw...the beauty in this irony is that while obviously she captured his heart as he dedicated every book he wrote to her, she read every single one...and clung to his every word...









Sometimes....

...it's just better to see a thing for what it is and not what we want it to be...or what we make it out to be in our heads. 

I have an almost unhealthy obsession with 
Gibran Khalil Gibran
It's his mind. The immense wisdom that he possessed is truly awe inspiring. I have a great deal of respect for the man that he was because of the philosophical ideology that he owned...but the reason I fell in love with his spirit is because at the end of the day, his wisdom was not the strongest part of him. 
Unfortunately, his insecurities were the strongest part of him. His passion and heart and fears are what made me connect. 
He said it best...
I am the worst at this. Sometimes I make up "speeches" or conversations in my head based on what I'm feeling and I want to be able to express them but then I will talk to that person and they will say something that answers the question of whether or not I should be opening up so much...and I shut down. 
So in my head, I've had this conversation but in reality I haven't and the lines get blurred. 

I am there right now.

I'm shutting down.
Maybe that's best. Maybe it's temporary. I have someone in my life that pushes me out of my comfort zone A LOT...but this one is going to be hard to shake. I've taken too many years of behavioral science studies as well as body and spoken language. I always read in between the lines and I'm never wrong.
I just get so clouded with my version of reality..

kinda sucks

Sometimes I think I should just stick to the game. 
It's what I'm good at.
I don't mean that. 
Manipulation is my forte and it comes so easily but not this time. This time I ride it out as honest and open as I can be. I won't let this be on my shoulders...not this time.  I will not look back and say, "I should've _____" or "I could've _____". 
Nope!

I'm staying true to me this time cus hell...
Im fighting for myself...and if I lose this battle then, oh well. I will pick myself up and dust that shit off and keep trekking! ;)

I'm worth the fight and hell

someones gotta do it, right? 




Monday, June 11, 2018

Music Obsession: Girl Power

I’m OBSESSED with this new Demi Lovato and Clean Bandit song


But this is another obsession...
Sabrina Claudio 







That last one gets me feelin some type of way though. I need to stay away from that one til
I’m ready to write. 
I looooove this chick

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Exciting News!!

I feel like there should be a drum roll or something inserted here..
oh wait...
I just wanted to quickly announce the good news...
are yall ready?


I FINALLY GOT A HOUSE! 

OMG its only taken forever. This has been a learning experience for sure. It's a very competitive business and it takes aggression to get what you want. Its challenging and everyone knows how much I love a challenge. 

Just watch me glow up...
Remember that name

Hayati Homes 


and to my investor/business partner/friend...
Shookran Habibi
Yes, I mean it. 
I couldn't be doing this without your trust and belief in me.
Don't think I don't know that. 
I'm very grateful for it.
Let's do this! 




Thursday, June 7, 2018

Things I Love Thursday

Music
All day, all night, at all times music is playing in the background and if by chance (which would be weird) its not? It's in my head. I am in Gospel mode right now and its safe! lol This is probably all I'm going to listen to until I am back on track. I'm so thankful that we have so many options now in christian music. Growing up it was AWFUL (except DC Talk....don't ever hate on them in my presence lol) Now we have r&b and hip hop and rap...it's awesome. 
Lecrae is my favorite
(and he's hot too lol so that helps...although...I have a really big thing for a man of God (coughTimTebowcough) that ain't afraid to show his love to God out loud...mmm mmm mmm...I should pray about that lol)
you're welcome...I mean omg would you just look at that width??? arms?? shoulders?? pecs?? smile...pretty eyes AND he started a foundation helping special needs children and adults??
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PERFECT
(it's even ok that he's white...y'all know I don't typically like the pasties lol)

These are a few of my favorites....
Trip Lee-Sweet Victory

Lecrae and Tedashi (hes cute too lol)-Dum Dum

Andy Mined-You cant stop me


Jessies Lovin's
For those of you that don't know, Jessie is my 13 year old son. He is wild as hell (I call him my monkey), hyper, and doesn't have one care in the world about what people think about him. You can tell that by the time he came, I gave up LOL 
I'm so kidding
kinda
but he has the biggest heart for his mama. Every day...multiple times...he flies in the room and grabs my cheeks and gets in my face and tells me how much he loves me. He always compliments me (Zabe is the worst though...sometimes it's just too much lol) but my favorite thing by far that Jessie does?
I will hear his little feet running through the house...
getting closer....
I know I have to brace myself cus he's gonna run and jump across me...full force! Then he gets in a baby position so I can "hold him like a baby" lol 
I had something else picked for my second "thing I love" but in the middle of the first one, he did that and I knew I had to write about him. When I say I am incredibly blessed, I mean it from such a deep place. I get the most awesome love from my babies. 
I hope Jessie never stops this cuteness. I will never let it get on my nerves again. He can squeeze my cheeks whenever he wants!



Reflections

I had a mile long paragraph about a subject that I've decided (after much reflection) to delete. I am glad I didn't. Sometimes you have to know when to think about your words and actions. Reflect on it before you just go blessing people with your feelings or opinions on a certain matter. It's not really my place to have an opinion on this matter. And as much as it sucks, reflection has brought much needed answers. And sometimes, reflection forces you to make tough choices but it's worth it. To sit back and really think something through is always a good thing. 

I wish I did this before just giving my heart away...
wouldn't be in this boat...although I won't lie, I don't regret it for a second. It was so incredible.