I am a firm believer that when you go through a hardship, trial or difficult time in life you gain knowledge from experience. I also think that it's selfish to not share that wisdom with others. For anyone who doesn't know, I am a motivational speaker to youth. With the way the world is going these days, our youth need direction more than ever. They are so broken. These are lessons that I am passing on to my youth group as well as my chorus girls. I don't have the time to really go deep in my testimony. I would be here all day if I wrote about all the adversities I have had to overcome in life. I would have to go all the way back to 4 years old so rather than do all that I am going to share the wisdom I have learned.
It doesn't matter what your circumstances are you CAN rise above them. It's no secret that most people have some sort of trauma as a child and as a result, most people are broken. The trick is to stay in reality. Most of us (as a defense mechanism) try to create our own version of reality. If a rose by any other name is still a rose, then creating one's own reality is simply living in a fantasy world. I am the best example of that. The problem is that reality is a fact and it's happening wether you want it to or not. Sooner or later it's going to collide with your fantasy world. That collision causes your struggles to be much worse than they should be. By being out of touch mentally and emotionally, you are setting yourself up for disappointments. Sometimes they are so great it causes shock, depression, hopelessness and defeat. No one deserves to live in that state of mind.
Does that mean by being self-aware you will not have any troubles? No! Of course not! But in a stronger mental and emotional state you will have the proper tools to assess the troubles in order to find a solution. Awareness of the fact that this is just a phase and there will be an end to the hard time is crucial. As long as you stay aware of your emotions and thoughts and you are working toward the next phase, you will come out stronger and wiser.
And that just makes sense.
Mind over matter.
Giving up is not an option.
Pitying yourself will get you nowhere.
Allow yourself to feel whatever negative emotions come to the surface. Feel them, accept them and let them go. Then you are able to switch from the emotion to the mental awareness of the situation.
This is why the study of psychology is so fascinating to me.
Not only do you have to be aware of yourself and how you process life, you also need to be aware of others and how they operate. Most troubles in our lives are tied into other people and not just ourselves. There will be people in your life that are negative energy. How you deal with these people will affect your life and the environment in which you live. In some cases, nothing you say or do can change the negativity in your life. It then becomes a situation where you have to separate from this person, if possible. If this is not an option, you need a strategy for not giving that persons negativity any power. It may be that you need to make changes in your life to remove yourself from that negative situation. Remember, you are never stuck somewhere forever. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel "stuck" then you need to come up with a solution to be un-stuck. There is always a way out. Fear and comfort will tell you no, but there is. You have to be brave enough to leave your comfort zone to get to the next and more improved phase of life.
And listen, this takes work!
I have learned that meditation helps me tremendously. It forces me to pause, remove myself from any negativity and regroup. I still have times of weakness, I am human.
But as a result of self awareness and just me living "my truths" with myself and others, I have found my strength.
And this is a lesson that can be learned at any age. It doesn't matter how big or small your challenges are or at what stage they are at, you can still overcome and grow from them.